An Open Love Letter to Grady Hendrix

Song Pairing: “Confetti” by Casey Dubie Listen Here / 2019 HELLO YELLOW REVIEWS PLAYLIST (Spotify) – Listen Here / 2019 HELLO YELLOW REVIEWS Playlist (Apple)

Dear Grady Hendrix, if that is your real name,

The Wall Street Journal once called you “a national treasure,” which I thought was pretty insulting. You’re much more valuable to the world than that oft mocked Nic Cage movie. If you’re anything National, you’re an irreverent Lampoon, or the iconic Anthem, or a pervasive Weather Service.

I just finished My Best Friend’s Exorcism. The entire plot is in the title. There are no surprises here, but just truly magnificent horror writing set to a 1980’s after-school-special backdrop. I’ll never look at milkshakes the same.

Grady Hendrix, and that can’t be your real name, you write such convincingly nuanced female friendships. I’m beginning to wonder if you follow gaggles of girls around the mall and observe their speech patterns and the intricacies of their delicate power dynamics. Did you have a window into my experiences growing up with my own best friend? Did you spy on our lazy afternoons eating KitKat bars and watching B-rated horror movies when my parents were asleep? Is it self-obsession and lack of uniqueness that makes me think you’ve spied on my life and written a book about it? Maybe. My best friend never got possessed by Andras, but we certainly overcame similar trials (self-tanner, facial piercings, AIM), all resolved through the insanely powerful bonds of female intimacy.

Greg Johnson, which is probably your real name, can you please host a summit on how to write complex female friendships and invite every male writer ever published?

Thank you for your service. Also, I love you. Pretty excited to read your other books, including Horrorstor and Paperbacks from Hell.

Peace out,


PS: For all your hard work and dedication, here’s a bunch of gifs from the 1980’s.

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